[Salon] The Bunker: Boeing cleans up in its C-17 lavatories; F-35 pilot’s terror investigated into pilot error


November 6, 2024

Washington, DC

This week in The Bunker: Boeing cleans up in its C-17 lavatories; F-35 pilot’s terror investigated into pilot error; value of latest defense addition to stock index towers over that of firm rebuilding the nuclear triad; and more.

SOAP OPERA

Taxpayers taken to the cleaners

Most of us who ever worked in a restaurant recall those signs inside the restroom: “Employees must wash hands before returning to work.” All of a sudden, those long-ago $640 toilet seats for U.S. military aircraft make a lot more sense. That’s because the Air Force has been paying a nearly 8,000% markup on soap dispensers used in the lavatories aboard its C-17 cargo planes.

The Department of Defense inspector general, investigating an anonymous tip, concluded in an October 29 report that the Air Force paid Boeing nearly $1 million too much for assorted spare parts. The parts included those gold-plated lather-uppers, which the IG contrasted with civilian soap-squirters. “The overall function of these soap dispensers is identical, whether used in a residential kitchen or bathroom, commercial restaurant bathrooms, or in an aircraft lavatory,” the IG said (PDF). “The 7,943-percent markup, more than 80 times the commercially available cost, resulted in the Air Force overpaying $149,072 for the [redacted] soap dispensers.”

For reasons known only to the Pentagon’s Gods of Proprietary Data, the number of C-17 dispensers and the total cost paid for them were redacted from the 56-page report. However, your intrepid Bunkercorrespondent closely matched the commercial model shown in the IG report with one available on Amazon for $75, suggesting the Air Force paid about $6,000 per dispenser. Predictably, the IG recommended(PDF) that Pentagon purchasers “clarify requirements” and — get this — “review invoices to determine fair and reasonable prices before payment.”

Over-priced simple spare parts are the bête noire of Pentagon suppliers because they are one of the few things defense contractors provide that taxpayers can understand. Such markups are leading indicators of the rot we cannot see. This defense-spending carrion is marbled throughout the U.S. military establishment.

Boeing, trying to wash its hands of this latest PR disaster, hinted that the soap dispensers and other costly spare parts “would not be qualified or approved for use on the C-17.” The IG report, Boeing added, “appears to be based on an inapt comparison.” This marks the first time in The Bunker’s memory that the word “inapt” — derived from the Latin, meaning “you caught us” — has appeared in a defense-contractor press release.

KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID

“Pilot error” blamed for missing F-35

If you make something complicated enough, you can always blame the hapless user when something goes wrong. That’s what happened 14 months ago when a Marine pilot bailed out of his haywire F-35 fighter. His abandoned aircraft instantly became the world’s most expensive drone, flying for about 74 miles before disintegrating into a South Carolina pine forest and cotton field. It took the U.S. military 27 hours to find the downed $179 million (PDF) jet, leading to widespread mockery. “Social media memes spread,” the local paper reported, “including one with an F-35 on a milk carton and the word ‘Missing’ splashed across it.”

But the plane’s lone pilot never should have ejected, the Marines said in its official probe into the crash (released on Halloween, of course). “The pilot incorrectly diagnosed an out-of-controlled flight emergency and ejected from a flyable aircraft, albeit during a heavy rainstorm compounded with aircraft electrical and display malfunctions,” the inquiry said. Those malfunctions apparently began with a mysterious “electrical event” that “induced failures of both primary radios, the transponder, the tactical air navigation system, and the instrument landing system; and the probability that the helmet-mounted displayand panoramic cockpit display were not operational for at least three distinct periods.” (That’s a $400,000, custom-fitted helmet, by the way.)

The pilot experienced “multiple cautions and advisories” (PDF) in the cockpit as key instruments flickered off and on. He “lost communications with Tower and his wingman” (PDF) and became “unsure of which instruments he could trust” (PDF). Unable to see through the rainclouds and with his altimeter MIA, the pilot recalled his last known altitude at about 1,900 feet. The F-35 flight manual calls for a pilot to eject if the plane is out of control below 6,000 feet, so he ejected, parachuting safely into a backyard below.

But the pilot erred because he “applied an appropriate emergency procedure in response to a perceived[italicized in the official report] loss of aircraft control below 6,000 feet” when it really wasn’t [italicized by The Bunker] out of control, according to the probe. Not only that, the investigation said, but the F-35 flight manual’s definition for out-of-controlled flight “is too broad and contributed to this mishap.”

That’s sure to be a comforting thought the next time an F-35 pilot faces perceived death.

The Marines blamed Colonel Charles Del Pizzo’s crash on “pilot error” (PDF). Last month, General Eric Smith, commandant of the Marine Corps, fired the veteran pilot, who has 2,800 hours of flight time and deployments to support wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, from a prized assignment because of the crash.

But at least something worked. The Marines cited(PDF) the plane’s radar-eluding stealth technology as the leading reason it couldn’t be found for more than a day after Del Pizzo bailed out.

ECLIPSED

No longer “triad and true”?

Palantir is a brash defense start-up focused on intelligence and software. It was promoted to the Big Leagues in September when Standard & Poor announced the company would be added to its benchmark S&P 500 Index, which tracks the stock values of 500 of the nation’s biggest companies. “Wall Street appears to be bullish on these new startups, and Palantir, arguably the first of this new wave, recently entered the S&P 500 with a larger market cap (as of Oct. 15) than Northrop, which is a phenomenal accomplishment,” John Ferrari, a retired Army two-star general, noted October 29 in Breaking Defense.

Northrop is a legendary defense contractor. It is building the nuclear triad’s new bomber and ICBM fleets, as well as the rocket motors for the submarine-launched missiles that are the triad’s third leg. Palantir’s value topping Northrop’s may indeed be a “phenomenal accomplishment,” but it also raises a fundamental question: Does the market know something that the military doesn’t?
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